Star Wars: The Legacy of Some Other Guys

Season 2.5: Episode #: Recruiting Drive
Tell me again why you want to be a Sith?

… in which our heroes run some Sith hopefuls through Gygaxian deathtraps, in order to separate the wheat from the chaff.

Well, the chaff hits the fan, and things go crazy; maybe also well?

The KJ heads to Korriban to regroup, and deliver their remaining hopefuls.

Season 2.5; episode oh goddess what happened?
So that was a thing.

When Sari, Dange Zelnoa – Darth Ploro, Knight Sunrider, Anzhelika and others decide to really go for it, and see what happens when you try to perma-connect a Vong to The Force.

The answer?




After that, the crew headed out toward Nyriaan, making a slight detour through Mandalorian space. That slight detour got lengthened when there seemed to be a Mandalorian fleet amassing in orbit around Taris. Why? Well, the Chiss Ascendancy had requested 1 fleet, to provide assistance at Ord Mantell, and were kind enough to pay 3/4 in advance.

After some brief retrofitting, and a certain smooogle acquiring a pile of credits, the ‘jammer sped off to investigate. What did they find? Rumors of a WMD of some sort being deployed, the Fel Empire and Galactic Alliance at each other’s throats, a blockade – the ensuing scene was eerily reminiscent of Constancia.

The difference in this case, being the Chiss Armada and the Mandalorian fleet utterly surrounding the planet, shooting down anyone trying to leave, and generally enforcing a blockade.

Oh, also? Burning everything in a 500-kilometer radius around the suspected ground zero. Attempting to vaporize everything, in a near-geometric circle, within 20 minutes. Brisk. Efficient. Angry.

The Chiss are certainly acting like they’ve seen this before.

2.5, Episode Next
That escalated quickly


It works better when you’re the ambusher. Kadj Drellus did his part as bait, and the crew found themselves face-to-face with a couple old crewmembers; Krayt, who had hired several mercenaries, including one Aida Bilal Bomani, who as it turns out, wasn’t particularly thrilled with the job she’d taken, and switched sides.

It turns out that Krayt was the trigger-man on Constancia, and that wasn’t even the thing that most angered the crew.

Things of note!

  • Krayt be all kinds of dead. It’s not pretty, don’t ask.
  • Before this happened, he talked all kinds of crazy talk – Some crazy smuggler’s haven on a comet, the apparent return of the Rakata, and plenty else.
  • The Yuuzhan Vong in question, Zelta (and her little son Harlan) seem to have the amazing power of being able to elicit sympathy from the people most famous for hunting Vong.
  • The Crew has traveled to Dathomir, filling in Anzhelika on events, and picking up Luke Shai, of all people!
  • This last part will be interesting, we promise.
Season 2.5, episode whatever-it-is-now
Always return to the scene of the crime

And there are plenty of crimes committed every day on Nar Shadda, so our intrepid heroes crew has likely done just that.

Their plans, in no particular order:

  • Ambush an ambush, and figure out who’s trying to kill them!
  • Check in with old friends at Montane’s emergency clinic! (Done!)
  • Acquire Yuuzhan Vong in the Undermarket! (Check!)
  • Feel super bad about that last bit! (in process!)
  • Attend Queen Jool’s little soiree and don’t die!
  • Other things that your humble narrator has likely forgotten!

Exciting, no?

Season II: Episode 2

Welcome to the Jungle!

(You’re going to get price-gouged)

In which our heroes…

  • Dock at Dathomir’s biggest tourist trap!
  • Turn one data cube and one smuggler into FAT STACKS OF CASH MONEY!
  • Negotiate for potential future jobs with Some Jerk Who Wouldn’t Show His Face!
  • Head off to see The Dathomiri Witches!
  • Learn the untold secret of combating Vong Terraforming!
  • Make a mess and drink ALL THE THINGS!

Now, with what might be the Galaxy’s sauciest research scientist in tow, the ‘jammer is returning to Constancia – or what’s left of it – to acquire a live sample of the terraforming tech, in hopes that Sari can formulate something vaguely resembling a countermeasure.

The Khelljammer placing their hopes in the hands of some mystic they just met? That’s always gone pretty well in the past…

Season II: Episode 1
A New Dawn

Excitement! Adventure! Frustrating Hyperspace Chases!

In which our heroes…

  • Chase a Y-class Freighter certainly in possession of uncertain documents!
  • Stumble into the middle of a border skirmish between the Fel Empire and Galactic Alliance!
  • Don’t even get shot down – though the same cannot be said for their quarry!
  • Chase said mercs to the surface, and eventually retrieve the data!
  • Live happily ever after Narrowly escape a Vongform Bomb – the first seen in the core in decades!

Now, with the threat of a resurgent Yuzhan Vong apparent, the Khelljammer heads to Dathomir to deliver their cargo, and warn the galaxy.

At least the bits they care about.

Episode Three
Adventures in commerce

(Still a work in progress guys, bear with me)

Hyperspace! Who doesn’t like going to hyperspace, I’d like to know. Catri certainly didn’t seem to mind, as this gave her opportunity to grill Winter on that whole Mandalorian thing.

Winter told her that yes, she was Mandalorian – part of the Khell clan, as though that wasn’t obvious. She mentioned being adopted in, which is hardly uncommon in Mandalorian culture, and made passing reference to the three splinter clans that had been involved in the Vong Purge, a crusade to hunt down the remaining Yuzhan Vong groups still troubling the galaxy a few decades ago. Those clans were Khell, Sage, and Coto. As near as Winter knew, Uriel and his brood were the last of the Sage clan, and she was the last of the Khell. The clan Coto had been completely obliterated.

Uriel had apparently been encouraging Winter to piece her life back together for some time, a revamped ship, coupled with potentially adopting the Orphan Squad into the Khell Clan had been enough to rouse her, having spent an undisclosed amount of time on Nar Shadda after the Vong Purge. Uriel, Montane, and Winter had all arrived on Nar Shadda around the same time back then. Winter again asked if Uriel hadn’t told her any of this, and upon hearing a repeated “no,” wasn’t sure if she should go any further, or if this was something for Catri to hash out with her dad.

Catri was left with even more questions, but didn’t press Winter any further – after all, there was apparently a dry martini calling Winter’s name.

The Khelljammer touched down on Duro, and the crew proceeded to mix through the crowds of the famed shipbuilder’s planet. While there…

  • Zax acquired consignment cargo of semi-precious gems and overstocked ship parts, while keeping the docking officials engaged in talking shop about the new Sage Engineering Yvette cruisers – perhaps unsurprisingly, a docking official on a world of starship engineers was a big-time ship geek – and this worked like a charm, keeping them from snooping around and finding things they perhaps ought not.
  • Tereez was all about finding things he perhaps ought not, and proceeded to make friends with a local noble looking to boost his stock, literally. Since the government of Duro was intricately tied to the global corporation, and political power was directly tied to how much stock in DuroCorp one holds, finding someone who dabbled in the spice trade wasn’t too hard. Tereez managed to push a significant portion of spice for creds, connections, and a little primer course on how to refine raw spice into glitterstim, a psychic phenomena-inducing narcotic, that moves for higher prices.
  • Krayt and some others parlayed their new found wealth into some badly-needed ship upgrades – reinforcing armor joints, adding functional shields, and getting a few more turrets online. Much to CuK1’s chagrin, the front turbolaser was not repaired.
  • Catri actually ran into someone who desperately needed their shipment of prototype Bacta tanks to be delivered, what with the freighter slated to transport them having been decommissioned after a pirate attack. Catri showed them the Khelljammer, and the formidable (looking) ship, combined with the Mandalorian pedigree, convinced the agent that this was his best bet. Catri managed to turn this into a deal where the cargo was delivered, for the price of one tank. Not wanting to lose the whole shipment to pirates, being pressed for time and already behind schedule, the agent agreed.

While loading the cargo onboard, Catri was asked where they were taking it. Embarrassed that she hadn’t even asked, she looked down at the manifest.

Bastion, capitol of The Fel Empire. No big deal, right?

Looking at their destinations (after a non-trivial quantity of liquor and various lethal poisons were loaded for Winter’s private stock) the crew decided that it would be in everybody’s best interest to dump their stock of narcotics before hitting up the Empire – you know, since they’d just punched a hole in one of their flagships, and all. So, they charted the following course:

Corellia, Dathomir, Bastion, and finally Mon Calamari.

Off to Correlia they went hoping that the busy intergalactic hub would have what they needed. Upon arriving, Winter tasked the crew with two objectives: First, dump the remainder of their spice. Two, get caught up on galactic events. Three, leave her the frell alone as she went to meet with some contacts.

  • Tereez went to work right quick, and headed back to the ship to continue working on glitterstim refinement.
  • But not before working with Dante to hatch a fiendish plot. The plot was basically A: Hire two male prostitutes for Krayt without his consent or foreknowldege. B: give them a room and an hour. C: ??? D: Profit?

This ended with everybody feeling pretty well degraded, Dante & Tereez included.

  • Aida made friends with the local Hutt, a jovial fella named Rolo, who had trouble distinguishing what gender Aida was supposed to be, Hutts being hermaphroditic and all.
  • Zax was spotted, and waved over by an old acquaintance of his, who turned out to be drunker than perhaps was warranted. He also turned out to be Content Not Found: master-sunrider, whom Dange had met on Nar Shadda, flanked by what would seem to be the two Padawan who started the firefight during the blockade. They looked to be no more than 11, probably closer to 9.
  • Dange felt the Jedi were following them. Sunrider was three sheets to the wind. Tereez came back, one of his experiments in the Force-enabling glitterstim having literally blown up in his face. Hillarity ensued.
  • Tomi recognized Zax – though he called him “Darius” – from his time as a circus performer, prior to joining the Jedi order.
  • Through a series of compounding misunderstandings, one of Tomi’s Padawans, a young Quarran he called “Kip” – though he insisted his name was Qel D’kosh – was sent to talk to Dange, whom little Qel was not entirely certain wasn’t a Sith Lord. Some nervous hijinks later, and Dange had taken Sunrider’s lightsaber from Qel, so he didn’t hurt himself, Master Hondo arrived to apologize for his idiot friend, and there was much glaring all around.
  • Dange attempted to find where Mors and Tyrisa had gone off to, by sensing the various force signatures in his immediate surroundings. He pinpointed Mors, but gathering his bearings was difficult, due to a signature flaring up every few moments from Tereez, whom had apparently been having some success with the spice refining after all. Frustrated with the constant interruptions, Dange attempted to telepathically influence the Bothan, sending a message of how very not on the ship Tereez was, and how tragic that fact must be.
  • The Zabrak might have put a bit too much into that, however, as between his growing frustration, and Tereez’s edging closer to a full-on hallucination, these two actions intersected in a psychedelic journey of magical, force-propelled wonderment. What are the odds?

About one in twenty, as it turns out.

Episode Two
When the going gets tough, the tough go to another planet.

Excitement! Adventure! Not being on Nar Shadda!

All this and more was promised to the rag-tag group brought together by the Orphan incident in Zapfino Ward’s Hangar D. With Don’t-Call-Me-Captain-Khell giving everyone roughly 24 hours to set their affairs in order, the soon-to-be crew did just that.

Krayt pretty much sat around, contemplating the mess he’d gotten himself into, and reevaluating some of the elements of his code of honor. Specifically, the ones that got him into said mess.

Catri Sage had a plan, you see. After trying (and failing) to get her brother Jacob to realize that with her gone, no one would be around to fix him up/bail him out, etc; she intended to talk to her father, and let him validate her second thoughts regarding this hair-brained scheme. His response was to wax nostalgic about being a spacer, tell her how proud he was of her, and dispense some salt-of-the-earth wisdom. Some tidbits include:

  • Always keep a vibrodagger in your bosom – it’ll be uncomfortable, but you’ll be happy it’s there when you wind up needing it
  • Condoms don’t protect you from a lot of alien venereal disease – make sure you do your research, and determine if it’s worth it.
  • It’s usually worth it.
  • No means no, and if she’s receiving unwanted flirtation, applying a fusion torch to somebody’s genitals will get the message across right quick – and you should always have one on you anyway.
  • He’s serious, it works like a charm. He’d show you the scars, but we don’t need to make this any weirder than it already is.
  • Don’t look so shocked: how do you think he and your mother met, anyway?

… and so on. Having been scarred for life by this forthcoming discussion with her usually aggressively conservative father did little for Catri’s rapidly eroding sanity. So, she hurriedly made her way to The Sexy Rancor to see if she could offer any assistance, and just not think about the conversation any more.

Dange, having little in the way of worldly possessions to round up, more or less spent the day meditating, and trying to no real avail, to get Morsie and Tyrie to do the same. But trying to get a pair of girls ages 8 and 11 to sit still for that long? Well, the holy man’s patience was tested.

Zax Rondo was also not much for worldly possessions – in fact, he’d been pretty much packed, and ready to leave the planet at the drop of a hat for a few weeks at this point. So, he decided to swing by the Rancor, and make himself useful; anything to expedite the process of getting off-world.

He arrived at the Rancor and was promptly greeted by Cu-K1, who presented him with a dilemma. The RoBartender, you see, was trying to determine who should join the crew from his ranks. He confided in Zax that he was, perhaps, too close to the situation to think logically, and asked Zax’s help in determining which of his three “sons” should accompany them.

He presented the trio: one model who seemed to think and communicate primarily in terms of breakfast foods, of otherwise moderate dependability; one model who was helpful, cheerful, adept, and constantly leaked a highly flammable napalm-like substance – he referred to this as a “feature,” not a bug. The third droid was by far and away the most independent and sentient of the trio – displaying a great willingness to be of use, and no small amount of personal initiative.

While his eagerness troubled Zax to some small degree, the spacer figured that a droid with hidden agendas would probably blend right in, and he’d rather have the most capable help that didn’t leak napalm-like fluids. After much assurance from Prime and Droid#3 that he would be very loyal, Zax consented, and Prime dubbed the droid “CuK1 Alpha,” and expressed pride in his “son.”

Alpha assured Zax that he would never, in fact, harm him or the crew in any way, and was actually quite prepared to go to extensive lengths to ensure their safety. He then spent the next ten minutes or so, detailing the many ways in which he might dismember, maim, slaughter, and otherwise violently interact with anyone who threatened the crew.

Zax was not as reassured by this as Alpha perhaps intended.

Aida decided that she would try and find some work to scrounge up a few extra creds before heading off-world, and looked for any last-minute jobs that she could do in an afternoon.

She found a listing for a quick spice grab – apparently there was a ship about to go off-world, and a cargo of spice was to be transferred from one ship to another. She signed up, met with the individuals for the job, and listened as they described the events she’d been tied up with yesterday.

It dawned on Aida that she was about to steal from her soon-to-be crew. She shrugged, and continued with the plan anyway.

This took a turn for the interesting, when Winter and a few of CuK1 Prime’s assault droids helpful staff noticed her approaching, and asked for her help in moving the crates. No small amount of frustration, and several abandoned plans to abscond with some spice later, she finally relented, got some empty boxes from Winter, grabbed some large quantities of salt from a market, and gruffly dropped them off on her co-conspirators – who, having seen her be friendly with the giant killer mauling helpful moving droids, were happy to let the matter slide.

Dante, in classic Dante style, unceremoniously dragged off their two not-quite-Mandalorian captives from the prior evening’s skirmish, and attempted to sell them to an underground medical research firm. 400 credits later, new lab rats were acquired, and Dante was never there. Dante who?

Grenn Idore had decided that she’d run into entirely too much trouble as it was, and stayed out of sight for the afternoon.

Finally, the hour arrived, and the proto-crew gathered in the lounge of the Sexy Rancor. Winter walked in accompanied by a Bothan, whom she introduced as “Theresa or something like that.” He then introduced himself as Tereez Eshka’Jeg, which Winter was pretty sure she’d just said. Regardless, he was to fill the position of Navigational Officer, and perhaps Intelligence Officer as well, depending on how intelligent he was. The rest of the officer assignments were doled out, and the group proceeded to the Sage Clan “Secret Hanger” to finally see their ship unveiled.

Isiah Sage was there waiting, as was Uriel Sage. Without much ado, Isiah described his construction process, and his vision for the ship. Droids unveiled the ship, which looked for all the world like someone had slapped a YT-series freighter on the front of a Corellian Corvette. Admitting that this is more or less what happened, Isiah asked the crew to give a proper name to his baby, the first in the line of Sage Engineering Yvette Cruisers.

Deliberation ensued.

The crew eventually decided on the Khelljammer SR-1, a combination of Winter’s name, the Sexy Rancor designation of warship, invented to placate Winter, and a suggestion from the Breakfast Droid’s “Son,” T07-ST or “Toast” as he preferred.

The name being decided, the crew got started on installing transponder codes to correspond to their name and designation, a small group left to gather up the kids.

En route, CuK1 Prime informed Dange that some gentlemen wished to speak with him at the bar, and had been waiting for some time. He further inferred from their attire and poor tipping habits that the two men were, most likely, Jedi. Dange told everyone to hurriedly get the kids on board, and he’d deal with this.

The two men, a human and a Twi’lek, introduced themselves as Masters Hondo and Sunrider, and wanted to both warn the local Ashwalker, and see if he knew anything that could help them. Dange gruffly informed them that he wasn’t an Ashwalker. They proceeded anyway.

You see, they’d been hunting a Sith Lord by the name of Darth Ploro – an inquisitor who had been presumed dead for years, but the pair remained unconvinced. They’d been scouring Nar Shaddaa for any trace of him, assuming that this was one of the best places in the galaxy to attempt to throw people off of one’s trail – when they felt a massive disturbance in the force, just last evening. Such a surge of Dark Side energy could have few other explanations, and as such, they wanted to know if he could help in their investigation.

Dange told them he had heard of some old, potentially Sith artifacts being moved through the black market, and furthermore, essentially told them to sit on something sharp. The Jedi-Sith conflict was not his concern, and he was getting off-planet anyway. The rebuffed Jedi accepted this, and warned him to be careful – if it was the Sith Lord resurfacing, he knew no concept of mercy, or empathy.

Dange, having had his fill of Jedi bedtime stories, hastily made his way back to the ship, and suggested they make a swift departure.

As it turned out, getting 31 little girls all loaded onto a ship was proving difficult: this problem was eventually solved by Winter declaring that it was time to play “tackle the puppy” – at which point, Tereez ran onboard for dear life, the Orphan Squad in hot pursuit.

The “huge mess of engines” as Isaiah called them, kicked to life, and the Khelljammer shot up through the atmosphere, and into orbit – where an impromptu blockade had been erected.

Imperials. The Galactic Alliance. The Sith, Jedi, and who knows how many others were gridlocked around the moon. The Sith were claiming interference in matters of great religious significance, the Empire and Alliance were both disputing something, and the Padawans of the Jedi Dange had just spoken with decided that this was a fantastic time to open fire on the Sith.

Bedlam occured.

In the ensuing chaos, the Khelljammer attempted to breach the blockade and escape this mess into Hyperspace. The Imperial Star Destroyers took their sudden motion as a threat, and possible indication of being the Sith who started this mess, and opened fire.

More bedlam.

In the midst of all this, Dante managed to ignite the fuel deposits of a Freighter with an impossibly well-placed barrage of fire, CuK1 overloaded the frontal turbolaser, which promptly fried itself into a heavy pile of slag – but not before punching a hole in one of the Imperial flagships’ hull! Tereez suggested that since they needed a fighter anyway, maybe they should try to heist one of the incoming TIE fighters in all the confusion.

This was widely denounced as a horrible idea – but after some skillful barraging from Aida, and another impossibly well-placed single shot from Dante, they had a TIE-and-a-half floating in tractor beam range. Catri reluctantly pulled them in.

Grenn opened a direct hail from the Imperial vessel, where the Captain demanded that the Sith explain themselves. Winter laughed, and identified the ship – right about the time that Denton had loaded the TIE pilot into an empty torpedo bay, and fired him/it at the capitol ship.

The Imperial nodded, gravely, said that he didn’t mean to get the Mandalorian Clans mixed up in this, and attended to his business. The Khelljammer punched through the blockade, Krayt deftly outmaneuvering the Alliance blaster fire – which, in fairness, seemed aimed pretty squarely at the Imperials. Tereez had punched in a course for Duro, and Catri avoided a heart attack in keeping the bloody hyperspace drive together as they made the jump to lightspeed. They were free of the chaos, and given this respite, Catri voiced the question on everybody’s minds:

“Winter, how come you never fracking told us you were Mandalorian?”

Winter thought this was doubly hillarious, coming from a member of the Sage Clan, and asked if old Uriel ever told her anything.

The answer seemed to be no.


Episode One
Some mercs, and 31 children walk into a bar. I guess, stop me if you've heard this one?

It started out as a pretty normal day on Nar Shadda. Underhanded deals were made, chaos and disorder were the norm. Drifters, mercs, and bounty hunters moved throughout Zapfino Ward, hustlers tried to scam any/everyone; the Sage siblings were up to their ears in trouble, and Winter Khell had passed out on the bar.

Pretty benign, all told.

All that changed, when a modified Chiss shuttle arrived at the docks, using a landing signature belonging to the pirate, Zidane, who was nowhere to be found. He had however, messaged no shortage of former crew, trying to have his cargo looked after until he could get his way out of whatever mess he was in at the moment. As such, a rather motley bunch had gathered around the docking of this shuttle; some were working, others just happened to be in the neighborhood – heck, some just wanted the chance to see a Chiss with their own eyes.

And some had their own reasons, which they felt no need to disclose.

To everyone’s surprise, as the Chiss (one Krayt as it turns out) made his way down the docking ramp, he was soon swarmed by a deluge of little girls, also leaving the shuttle, and only sort of listening to his instructions to behave in an orderly fashion.

The young woman hired to look after Zidane’s “Cargo” was less than thrilled. In all, there were thirty such girls, ranging from eight to twelve years old, both human and twi’lek. Also, a human or near-human looking girl, who could probably pass for normal if not for the fact that she had no eyes, just empty sockets.

Which is every bit as unsettling as you might think.

This little girl, who called herself Tyri, seemed to be able to ‘see’ to some degree, and stumbled over to the traveling holy man, and awkwardly asked him if he’d seen her friend.

Her friend, as it turns out, was someone she’d only dreamed about – but was pretty sure had come there with them. There was a concentrated effort by the gathered crowd – at this point consisting of Krayt, Dange, the young med student Catri Sage, and a local kid named Dante who’d been playing cards with one of the dock guards. After some consternation, they discovered a smuggling compartment.

Inside, were 19 packets of spice, a sculpture and painting of questionable taste but remarkable workmanship – and a macabre piece that resembled nothing so much as a frightened girl, frozen stiff, clutching a fuzzy little stuffed Teddy Ewok.

Some experimentation later, and the wall art was discovered to indeed be a living being, frozen in carbonite. She was promptly freed, and, to be blunt, freaked the hell out. She began crying uncontrollably, and asking for her mommy – which, in fairness, is about what one might expect. The girl had something resembling vestigial horns, pink skin, and slender tendrils coming from her cheekbones. She said her name was Mors.

The curious scene was interrupted by a local gang of thugs, led by the Mandalorian, Franco. Ten individuals showed up, heavily armed and wearing Mandalorian armor – or something rather like it, at any rate. Expecting to engage in a strong-arm robbery with some confused spacers who didn’t really want thirty-odd young slaves, and a stash of narcotics, they attempted to initiate an assault.

This went really, really poorly for them.

After some completely unexpected skill, and some fortuitous explosions, Franco had been quite literally blown in two. The remainders of his gang were not, in fact, Mandalorians; as was evidenced by their swift surrender.

The group headed towards The Sexy Rancor, and found an almost-sober Winter Khell. After some deliberation regarding just who was looking after these children, our group (which had picked up a few new members during this process) agreed on working together; additionally, in the need for everybody to get the hell offworld.

In an unexpected turn of events, Uriel Sage presents some news: Khell’s ship is ready to fly, and in fact, has been so for a decade.

People are mostly just surprised that she, in fact, was ever anything other than drunk.

Preparations are made. The beginnings of a crew are assembled. The saga begins. (The GM goes to sleep)


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